Comments

I'm in NJ and my Dad had a heart attack and stroke in Baltimore 9/9/09...
Your book is both similar(hoarding/difficult relationship) and
different(I drive 3 hours to visit and use Skype to communicate with a man who has lost his speech AND I have a husband and 2 kids...)
It strikes a chord and I just wanted you to know how helpful, as well as entertaining, it is to read a book like this. It's really a relief to know another person has had issues to deal with as I am...currently.
Thank you.
Judi

Dear Jo,
I received your book for Christmas from my brother that also lives in NC. I did not put it down until I finished it. My mother fell ill in April of 2009 and I dropped everything in my life to be by her side. She too suffered from dementia and really didn't understand what was happening. It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do staying by my mother (now my child)until she passed away in August.
I could relate to your book in so many ways. My parents are also hoarders of everything and it made a difficult road that much harder. I carved out a spot in my old bedroom and moved back home with my cat in tow.
That was not all I could relate to. I felt as though I could have written this book myself. Even the line about "make your tongue slap your brains out." Until now the only person I have heard use that is my father.
You touched on many emotions that I also experienced through this journey with my mother. I had felt nearly all of them. I can truly say that even though it was the hardest thing that I have ever done, it has also been the most rewarding thing I have done. I have been floundering in both my business and personal relationships for a while now and felt as though my life lacked purpose. Well, I found it in rendering care to my best friend and advocate in life. Even though it is painful to experience such loss, I would not trade it for anything.
Still at home to tend to my 87 year old father. I have a new outlook on things, a much greater appreciation for those that helped me, and want to give something back. I've found a community in the church that my mother loved so much, and do what I can to contribute to worthy causes.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful memories and experiences. Best wishes for you.

Jenny
Laurel, Maryland

Dear Jo

Thank you for writing my favorite memoir. This book was so well written. Funny, sad. It has given me a new perspective on my relationship with my mother with an even greater love and understanding. I could relate in so many ways, as a Brit living in the South, as a daughter, as a mother. Thank you for taking such wonderful care of your mother and inspiring us all to do the same.

Linda

I was lucky enough to speak with the author and tell her how wonderful a read her book was for me,,,,,I am not a big typing dude but if any of my pals see this posting, you must get a copy of Jo's book and savor every page.....it's sensational....

Sometimes books can really change your life. When I Married My Mother by Jo Maeder is one of those books. First, the title got me by asking, “What does that mean?” and then once I realized what it was about, I knew I had to read it.

What got me hooked was that Jo had a tenuous relationship with her mother. I have had one with my step-mother, too. She was the only mother I knew since my mother died during my birth. I could go on for hours how my step-mother was “not what I wanted in a mother,” but I won’t. What I did ask myself, at age 58, is: if Jo can heal a relationship with her mother, why can’t I?

While I was reading the book, I brought it on a visit with my step-mother. She asked what I was reading and I told her. As I remembered Jo’s magic with her mother, something shifted in me, and I realized my old way of thinking needed to leave so my step-mom and I could created magic, too. It worked! It was a huge leap into trying to heal a deep wound. It became a magical weekend from then on. And as I left, she said to me as she hugged me tightly, “I can’t ever remember having such a good weekend with you as I did this time! You know I am going to miss you.” I almost fell over! I had never heard those worlds before.

When I Married My Mother is written with insight, humor, and honesty. I think everyone who has a “mommy” issue could grow from Jo’s wisdom. As she says, “If you're not right with your mama, you probably won't be right with anyone." I have thought about that one sentence for awhile now. It has brought me to action to change my ways; as really I am the only one who can change any situation I have problems with.

My only regret is that I will never meet Mama Jo. She sounded like a wonderful woman who grew enormously toward the end of her life. Thank you, Jo, for writing a book that touched me deeply. I just loved your book!

What a touching story. This is a book you won't want to put down because you'll be able to identify with one or more of the people or personalities in it. You might have even lived a portion of it. Jo leaves no emotion behind as she describes her sometimes rocky road to re-connecting with her mother at a time when she's needed most. Kudos to Jo for this book, and for the character she showed by taking this leap of faith changing her whole life style and helping her Mother transition.

I just finished your book -- and I loved it! You are so funny! I laughed out loud several times...

It was weird because I would read the book at night and then I would dream about you and Mama Jo like you guys were my friends. I would wake up and tell my husband that I was hanging out with you in my dreams and talking about all of your experiences. He just looked at me like I'm crazy.

I love memoirs and I just want to thank you for writing such a great book about your time with Mama Jo. She seems like she was such an amazing person. I feel like I learned so much from all the things you learned from her. Of course everyone hopes their children will take care of them when they get old, but what I really want is to be able to offer my daughters all the joy Mama Jo gave you. It's truly beautiful.
Jessica
Chesapeake, VA